More from Eat Pray Love...

Yes...I am still reading through this book; funny that I thought this summer I would have even more time for pleasurable reading...not finding this to be true, sadly.
Even worse, I am not far into the book at all! I am still in Italy...maybe that is because I don't want to leave Italy with her...I want to live there vicariously through her, and enjoy all that Italy has too offer. Although, I must say...I am a getting a little tired of hearing people talk ill of Venice...let the little people like me dream of this amazing, romantic, idyllic city floating on water...not a depressing, smelly, rat infested place. I have heard this from a few people. I want to go! I want my dreams to be real: riding in a gondola while relaxing in the arms of someone who adores me, and taking in all the culture, the history, the stories, the romance of Venice...so please just let me dream! LOL.
Anyways...Elizabeth is describing the "sinking melancholy of Venice" and she goes on to say how she does not allow the atmosphere of her sad surroundings pull her into a depression state...a matter of the mind she knows all too well from her past. She congratulates herself and her healthy new mindset, "Somewhere in me I am able to recognize that this is not my melancholy; this is the city's own indigenous melancholy, and I am healthy enough these days to be able to feel the difference between me and it."
I love this...OK, yes I am loving this whole book, but, yes...I love this. A friend and I were just talking about cycles of repetition that we seem to get stuck in our lives. Culture has a way of making us believe that we can never stop the broken record, never heal from history, never move on from our past, never break the cycle,never be free from generational curses, never recover from roots of insecurities/depression/negativity/addictions/anxiety/ect....
Plug in your sad song...your struggle...your repeated offence.
But I am here to tell you this is a lie from the pit of Hell.
WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED! WITH THE POWER OF THE BLOOD OF CHRIST FLOWING IN US...WE CAN BE FREE FROM ALL THAT MESS!
We don't have to have our life on repeat mode! Each morning is a new morning! A gift from God! A fresh new day and a chance for a change. Let me also add this because I have been there...on repeat mode...I have been in the deep, dark, lonely pit of despair playing over and over again in my life, and I know what may go through someones mind...so let me add: "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans) If you have found yourself stuck on replay do not read this and began asking these questions: great I am going through that right now, am I too far from God? Am I too much of a mess to find the Messiah to heal me and pull me from this pit? Am I am horrible person and that is why I keep falling backwards? Am I just a failure? The answers to these lies being whispered in your mind from the deceiver himself: NO!!! So do not accept that condemnation!!
I am writing this after just having a flashback of insecurities battles plow their way through my life this weekend and finding myself falling again to it's false condemning concepts!
You are a child of God and He loves you...no matter where you are at in your faith right now...the Father can find you! I promise...no wait, better yet...His word premises this: Deuteronomy 31:8
"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
He is there. He has always been there. He will always be there.
And He can change your life is such a powerful way...IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME! YOU NEVER HAVE TO GO BACK!
Paul says, "Forget those things which are behind you, and press on towards the goal" (Philip)
You can overcome! "We are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus" (Romans)
Our mindset is a choice...so we must choose wisely. BE POSITIVE!
And know that today is a new day, the day that the Lord has made, so be glad and rejoice in it! Even if you made a poor choice yesterday...make a good one today and give your life over to Christ...His hands are big enough to hold you, His ways are wise enough to lead you, His heart is large enough to love you unconditionally, His promises are enough to give you hope, His peace is enough to sustain you, His comfort is enough to relax you, his joy is enough to renew you, and HIS FREEDOM IS ENOUGH TO BRING YOU ABUNDANT LIFE!
Live it in Jesus name!

Eclipse

OK, I hope I don't lose any readers that I may have from this blog by writing about vampires and werewolves...lol...but I do love the Twilight books. Today many twilight fans across the nations will be drooling over the big screen as those two mortal enemies unite to fight together for the life of the one they love. I will be watching the movie of the third book from the Twilight series tonight at 6:45, and I can't wait!

I was just skimming back over the book...I was hoping to read the whole thing again before the movie, but time has not allowed me to indulge in that again. So I skipped to my favorite scene--the tent scene. When Edward has to lay down his hatred and jealousy towards the dog trying to steal the love of his life, so that Jacob can warm up a freezing to death Bella...this is my favorite part. Jacob of course is quite comfortable in the arms of the woman he also loves, and Edward gets to hear his every enjoyable thought with his mind reading powers. It is just too funny. But it is also great that they lay down their differences and for a moment...a brief moment, form a quick friendship.

I was just thinking about this the other day...frustrated about how much I wish the people I love could just all put the past behind them...set aside differences, and just enjoy life together. To be happy. To all get along. Life is too short for all the fighting. We hear this all the time in movies, and music, or in church...but we just never seem to truly grasp the reality of it, and we continue to grumble and stubbornly hold on to hurts and never heal.

We have all been hurt...but it is time to lay our pain at the feet of Jesus and leave it there. Pick up His peace instead and hold onto that. Also, it is time to seek forgiveness if you have done wrong to others. We desperately need to allow the Heavenly Father to heal our hearts in order to move on and be able to live a joyful, abundant life.

My Many Colored Days

This is my favorite children's book; I have read it so many times I know it by heart, and it is wearing down quickly with most the pages falling out. I have read it allowed to many children, and I love to add dramatization to each page showcasing the different feelings that we encounter as humans. Yes, we are human...so why is it that we often tend to beat ourselves up for who we are?

We make mistakes, we feel things, we react to circumstances, we love, we laugh, we cry, we scream, we breathe, we live!!

Yet, if I have a bad day, a bad thought, a tantrum, a night of soaking my pillow in tears....I let those moments try to define who I am, and I think I am a horrible, messed up person. No...I am just human.

In this book, Dr. Seuss (and this book is very different from most of his books) attaches a color with a feeling or emotion. For example, "Then all of a sudden I'm a circus seal! On my Orange Days, that's how I feel." Or, "Green Days. Deep deep in the sea. Cool and quiet fish. That's me." And the one that I feel like I have been displaying a lot this last few weeks, "Then comes my Black Days. MAD. And LOUD. I howl. I growl at every cloud."

I just passionately adore this book. At the end, after going through this array of feelings and creatively showing how humans can change emotions throughout their days...Dr. Seuss reveals the comfort in all of this mess of mood swings we deal with; "But it all turns out all right, you see. And I go back to being...me."

Now, this is what I take from this book every time I read it...AND I REALLY NEEDED IT TODAY! I may, as a human, go through the roller coaster of emotions depending on what life hands my way...or even just because I am a woman, I may changes moods for no reason at all...lol...but...

It is OK! I am me in the mist of the messy moods: I am me when I am laughing so hard I can't breathe. I am me when I am relaxing and enjoying a good book. I am me when I am screaming at the unfairness of life. I am me when I am crying over loneliness. I am me when I am winning at games (had to throw that in). I am me when I am enjoying time with friends and family. I am me when I have a bad hair day. I am me when I lose my patience. I am me when my graceful self breaks something, and I am me when my heart is breaking. I am me when I fail. And I am me when I succeed. In all that, it doesn't matter the good, the bad, the ugly...the most important...and the only thing that truly defines me is this: I AM A CHILD OF GOD!

I am fearfully and wonderfully made in His image, and He knows me better than anyone else...and guess what...HE STILL LOVES ME!

So none of the ups and downs matter. He is my stable center!

GUESS WHAT....HE LOVES YOU TOO!

So no matter what mood you are in right now, Jesus loves you more than you can ever imagine. Find peace in that today.

eat pray love

Let me explain something to start off with....sometimes I read like I clean...
When I clean, my ADHD can cause some conflicts in ever getting anything actually accomplished; if I take something from one room into the room it belongs in, sometimes I then get sidetracked in that room, and start cleaning it instead. Although, I am learning more and more that others do this quite frequently as well...so maybe it is not so much of a problem as it is just mere normality. Anyways...let's just say, I get sidetracked easily no matter what I am doing; therefore I do the same with reading. I can be reading one book one day, and although I am not finished, switch to another book the next (or sometimes in the same day). This could be based merely on mood changes, or just random acts of picking up a different book to take with me to a doctor's visit, or oil change, or the choice room on Mondays where I have to sit with the kids that can't sit in class and behave (so I figure, I might as well at least get some reading time...I would add the word quiet to that, but it is far too often interrupted by (sad to say) disrespectful children, to be called quiet, enjoyable reading time...but none the less, it is reading time, and I will take anytime I can get to be inspired by, or laugh along with, or fall in love with the eloquence of the written words of a great author.
Today during choice, I took a break from Pride and Prejudice to read a new book I picked up at Target the other day, eat pray love by Elizabeth Gilbert. In spite of some different things that I do not necessarily agree with, I am very much falling quickly in love with this author and this fun, but very meaningful and very relatable (to me) book! As I read through quite a few chapters in this book today, I very much wanted to be sitting down with Elizabeth in Italy eating and discussing all that we have been through in life and gaining much insight, wisdom, and comfort from each other. I too have been through a divorce and have been in very close companionship with two "fellows" she seems to know well: loneliness and depression. I just wanted to be sitting in that courtyard of the library she found in Rome sharing intimate secrets and forming a strong friendship that would outlast our sorrows we have shared in our past.
Of course we also share a love of travel...one in which she has been far more blessed than I have in her ability to do so...I long for the days that I (and my boys) can travel the world and enjoy all it has to offer.
Sharing the love of food seems to be another similarity we have, which is what drew me to this book in the first place (besides the preview for the upcoming major motion picture created from the basis of this book). A title that has the word eat in it, catches my eye quickly!! lol
I love this line from page 22, "because God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies (or however the old adage goes)."
Her writing is inspiring, heart-warming, and hilariously enjoyable...I was the one probably distracting the students in choice today, as I often found myself laughing aloud to her witty words.
I took two pages of notes today on things I enjoyed just out of little I had read. I am not even sure where to begin on all that I felt while reading this...well, I guess I have already begun to share...but anyways, you know what I meant...lol.
Basically, be prepared to see some more post on this book as well as Pride and Prejudice...well, as long as my ADHD doesn't draw me to another random reading selection that is...lol. But, I cannot see being torn away from this book, as I can't wait to crawl under my covers right now on this raining day, and pick up where I left off; back in her apartment in Rome as if traveling right along side of her...

Pride and Prejudice

Being an English Education major, I am ashamed to admit that I have not even read some of the "greatest" novels that so many people are very well acquainted with, such as Pride and Prejudice. I have watched the movie several times over, even four times in one week...I just can't get enough of Mr. Darcy! However, I have just never sat down and read the book. But I am now, and I am already very much in love with it as well. I am a helpless romantic, and love a story where the passion is undeniable, espcially when it goes against all odds.

I will probably be making quite a few posts from this novel as I am very much enjoying it. Right now I have just finished Chapter ten, and this is one of the two things that stuck with me: where Elizabeth had noticed that often enough, Mr. Darcy’s eyes had made their way to gaze upon her...I love it! However, this is what I do not like; her insecurity as she questions why would such a great man dwell on the likes of her…“because there was a something about her more wrong and reprehensible, according to his ideas of right, than in any other person present.” She is very much unaware of his growing affection for her, and she questions her own worth of ever even being one to draw in the fixation of such a fine gentlemen, and this is something I unfortunatly know all too well; I write often on the threatening disease of insecurity. Its hold on my life had choked me for far too many years, until the strong hands of God pulled me from the depths of my dark and dreary pit, finally setting my feet on the solid rock of Christ. Gaining a firm foundation of confidence, I am now able to live a more abundant life.

I also have a love/hate relationship with this line from the same chapter, “He (Mr. Darcy) really believed, that were it not for the inferiority of her connections, he should be in some danger.” He’s falling in love….yet at the same time degrading her; this of course is the whole famous twist of this passionate tale of two worlds: the rich and the poor, colliding—letting go of prejudices and following one’s heart, and in the end finding happiness in spite of a world of differences.

I can’t wait to read on…